Chemtrails Over Miami
Cold Comfort
Daddy’s With the Alien’s Now
Hotel In Mexico
Lizard Lady
Mongolian Death Worm
My Sister Married a Bigfoot
Off the Hook
She’s In Love With the Loveland Frogman
The Curse of the Colonel
Toilet In My Heart
Chemtrails Over Miami
Verse 1:
A
When I was just a young boy
F#m
I saw them in the sky
F
You know just what I’m
D
talkin’
about
A
Don’t you lie
I told you all about them
And you said I was a fool
Well, who’s the fool now?
Me or you?
Pre-Chorus:
Cuz you can
B7
see them in the sky
D
This is not some
A
kind of rouse
Yeah, you can
B7
see them in the sky
D
Or just turn on the evenin’
E7
news
E7
And they’ll be showin…
Chorus:
A
Chemtrails over Miami
B7
Chemtrails over New York
E7
From Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine
D7
Chemtrails fallin’ like a
A
heavy
rain
A
Chemtrails over the mountains
B7
Chemtrails over the sea
E7
From the Great Lakes Basin to the ‘Frisco Bay
Bm
Chemtrails, baby, what
E7
more can I say
SOLO OVER FIRST 8 BARS OF CHORUS
Verse 2:
We’ve been inside for weeks now
And they’ve blotted out the sun
We’re runnin’ low on applesauce
But we’re not done
You’re crying in the bathroom
Cuz you think you’ve lost your sight
But man it feels good
To finally be right
Prechorus
Chorus
Solos over chorus chords
Chorus
Cold Comfort
Intro:
Well, she
D
said she’d always love me and in
G
time I’d under
D
stand
that it just
D
wasn’t meant to be and I just couldn’t be her
A7
man.
So I said, “well,
D
shit, that’s some
G
cold comfort,
A7
isn’t
it?”
Verse 1:
The
E
mountains on the can are just as blue as I am
and they’re half as cold as you
B7
are
so I
E
swung them swingin’ doors that
A
I was searchin’ for
the
E
neon
B7
warmth of the
E
bar,
and
Chorus:
Cold
A
comfort
Cold
E
comfort
Cold comfort in a
B7
can
Cold
E
comfort
Cold
A
comfort
E
Warms me wher
B7
ever I
E
am
SOLO VERSE
Verse 2:
Rocky Mountain waters had a bright and bubbly daughter
and she’s far sweeter than you
colder than a Siberian or an icy-eyed librarian
honey, I think I’ll have a brew…of
Chorus
Bridge:
A
Raise your hand up high
baby, why oh why did
E
you
go?
A
Raise your hands up high
baby, close your eyes and feel the
B7
sun glow because…
Verse 1
Chorus
Daddy’s With the Aliens Now
Verse 1:
A
There was a glowin’ outside my window, I’d seen it here before
I’d
D
seen that fiery ball of light and I heard them engines roar
I
E
knew deep down just what it was and
D
what it came here for
so I
A
jumped outta bed and I
E
run right out the
A
door
Verse 2:
A
I fumbled with the doorknob as I stood outside his room
G
I
D
cried out to my daddy. I said, “Daddy, it’s too soon!”
and
E7
as the door swung open, I
D
saw him float away
A
aliens took my
E7
daddy from me that
A
day
Chorus:
A
And now I know that
D
when we die
we’re taken to a spaceship
A
in the sky
where the aliens conduct a
E7
series of tests
Lord knows what they’re
A
trying to assess
But I know they use our bodies to
D
fuel their ships
and since they’re intergalactic
A
spaceships
it takes an awful lot of fuel
E7
just to get by
and that means a lot of
A
people gotta die
Verse 3:
When I woke up the next morning
saw that he was truly gone
I looked out of his window
at the black spots on the lawn
and as I gazed around the room
I noticed something on the bed
there was a note there
and this is what it read:
Spoken (over verse chords):
Son, I know you’re sad your daddy’s dead.
but Son, do you remember all the things your daddy said?
When you were just a boy, I sat you down on my knee
and told you how the aliens were after me.
Well, over the years I’ve learned alot about the nature of existence.
I’ve come to terms with my mortality and so offered no resistance
when the aliens came asking if they could take my body away
to fuel their spaceship for just one more day.
Chorus
Hotel in Mexico
Verse 1:
A
I was at a hotel in Mexico when the
F#m
news came on the air
they were
E7
bombing the country that I used to call home
I couldn’t
A
muster the gumption to care
A
Sippin’ margaritas, serenading senoritas by the
F#m
hotel pool all day
as the
E7
bombs rained down on the good old US of
A
A
Chorus 1:
At this hotel in
F#m
Mexico
they’ve got a color
Bm
TV
where I can watch my
E7
telenovelas there’s never been better a
A
place to be
Yes, at this hotel in
F#m
Mexico
they’ve got a fully stocked
B7
bar
and you can hear the
E7
ocean crashing on the shore
no matter where you
A
are
VERSE SOLO
Verse 2:
I asked the bartender what he thought of the weather
and he looked me in the eye
“bombas sobre Estados Unidos,
have you lost your goddamn mind?”
I came for the weekend, wasn’t sure what I was seeking
but I knew I’d find it here
the list of amenities, I’ve done gone to heaven, see,
I’m happy to stay right here
Chorus 2:
At this hotel in Mexico
they’ve got a color TV
where I can watch lucha libre
eating plates of ceviche
by the side of the sea
yes, at this hotel in Mexico
I play a 5-string guitar
I hope that you are doing well
no matter where you are
Bridge:
B7
Turn it off channel two
B7
so long, US of A
B7
I wanna write a review
cuz
E7
I’ve been blown away
Outro:
E7
(by) this hotel in
A
Mexico
yes, this hotel in
F#m
Mexico
(x2)
Lizard Lady
Verse 1:
Well, she’s
C
smarter than me and she knows it
and she
Dm
stands about 10 feet tall
but when she’s
G7
mowing the lawn with her Person suit on
you really wouldn’t notice at
C
all
When the
C
sun is up, she’s all business
in her
Dm
office way down town
but when the
G7
moon comes out, the suit comes off
and you
Dm
know where I’ll be
G7
found
Chorus 1:
Layin’
C
low with my Lizard Lady
you can
Dm
call me weird, you can call me crazy
she’s a
G7
Repltilian in a million to
C
me
G
and she might
C
be the mayor of this got-dang town
but
Dm
she and me we’re gonna
D7
settle
down
C
layin’ low, my
G7
Lizard Lady and
C
me
GUITAR SOLO (verse)
Verse 2:
See her over there, taking off her hair
and staring off into space
telepathic rays are just one of the ways
she keeps in touch with the rest of her race
Down at City Hall, she can slay ’em all
with her death-ray and her wit
you might say that I have lost my way
but that doesn’t bother me a bit, cuz I’m…
Chorus 2:
Layin’ low with my Lizard Lady
you can call me weird, you can call me crazy
she’s a Repltilian in a million to me
and she might be the mayor of this got-dang town
and she’s got plans to burn it down
layin’ low, my Lizard Lady and me
STEEL SOLO (verse)
Layin’
C
low with my Lizard Lady
Dm
Layin’
G7
low with my Lizard Lady
C
(x2)
Mongolian Death Worm
Intro:
Am
G
F
E7
Chorus:
The Mongolian
Am
Death Worm…slithers into my
Dm
dreams
it’s the
Am
most terrifying worm that I’ve ever
E7
seen
The Mongolian
Am
Death
Worm
has neither arm nor
Dm
leg
and to merely
Am
touch it means instant
E7
death they
Am
say
G
G
Verse 1:
Band:
C
Now, Hoyt. What does it look like?
Hoyt:
Am
You don’t wanna know!
Band:
C
Hoyt, if we didn’t wanna know, then why the hell’d we ask?
Hoyt:
Am
Let’s get on with the show…
F
Shaped like a sausage, two feet long
G
not very big, but it sure is strong
F
careful he’ll attract you like a moth to flame
E7
now you know his name…
Chorus
Verse 2:
Band: OK, Hoyt. Well, what’s it smell like?
Hoyt: You REALLY don’t wanna know!
Band: We’ve already been over this, Hoyt
Hoyt: Let’s get on with the show…
Smells like a sewer pipe, open down wind
plug up your nostrills but it still gets in
your eyes will water, your throat’s inflamed
now you know his name…
Chorus
Hoyt: and this is what it sounds like:
VERSE SOLO x 2
Verse 3:
Band: Hey, Hoyt! What does it feel like?
Hoyt: Brother, I don’t know!
Band: Maybe you should touch it Hoyt
Hoyt: Guess I could touch it with the tip of my toe
Band: Do it, Hoyt! Hoyt, do it! Touch it! Touch the worm, Hoyt!
Hoyt: It feels li—-
Hoyt dies
My Sister Married a Bigfoot
Verse 1:
An
E
hour from Tacoma, we saw him on the
A
shore
B7
I thought we shoulda headed back, but my sister wanted
E
more
We
followed him for hours, til the moon was on the
A
rise
Then he stopped outside his
E
humble home and he
B7
looked her in the
E
eyes
Verse 2:
My sister walked up to him and he grabbed her little hand
I say little here, well, because his were the size of Christmas hams
She told me not to fear him and I followed them inside
And what I saw before me, I thought I’d lost my mind
Verse 3:
There was an altar on the hearthstones and lilies by the score
And in the corner a tall, white cake, I wondered what it was for
My sister walked up to me and said, ‘Brother, have a glass of wine!’
Then my sister married a Bigfoot and now he’s a friend of mine
Chorus:
When my
A
sister married a Bigfoot, I
E
thought she’d lost her mind
I mean he’s hairy, he’s scary, and I’d be wary if we
F#
wasn’t just so damn
B7
kind
We
E
used to fight, we used to fuss, but now we see eye to
A
eye
My sister married a
E
Bigfoot and
B7
now he’s a friend of
E
mine
SOLO VERSE
Chorus
Phone Off the Hook
Verse 1:
Dm
I could call you on the phone
But then you
Bb
wouldn’t leave me
F
alone
so I’m
Gm
takin the
A7
phone off the
Dm
hook
I don’t know where we went wrong
so I’m writin down this song
and I’m takin the phone off the hook
Chorus:
The
F
fruit of our love fell off the tree
and it’s
Dm
rotting on the ground
F
listen to the wind blowin through the trees
can you
E7
hear that lonesome
A7
sound
Yeah, I could
Dm
call you on the phone,
but then you wouldn’t leave me
Bb
alone
so I’m
Gm
takin the
A7
phone off the
Dm
Hook
Verse 2:</em
Poured myself a nice hot bath
one more smoke and one last laugh
I’m takin the phone off the Hook
I popped that last balloon,
hell, I even licked the spoon
I’m takin the phone off the hook
Chorus
She’s In Love With the Loveland Frogman
Chorus:
D7
She’s in love with the Loveland Frogman
D7
She’s in love and the Frogman’s her man
D7
She’s in love with the Loveland Frogman
D7
Her daddy doesn’t like it, but she doesn’t give a damn
Verse 1:
Unmatched square brackets: [D[When she first laid eyes on the frogman
he was
G
pickin in a bar down
D
town
D
shufflin through all the tunes that he knew
wearin a
A7
pin-striped suit and a scowl
When the
D
band was done he walked through the crowd
and he
G
saw her standing
D
there
he said, “could you ever be with a frog like me?
I wanna
A7
take you every
D
where”
Chorus
Verse 2:
She said, “you’re quite the fiddle,
and you know I pick a mean guitar.
I betcha we could make some pretty music
in the backseat of my car.
Why don’t you come on home with me
together we can form a band
you can play all those double-stops
with the webbing on your hands
Chorus
Curse Of the Colonel
Chorus:
E
Deep in a river in the country of Japan
There’s a statue of a man with a
B7
bucket in his
E
hand
The bucket’s filled with chicken; it’s the kind that’s finger-lickin’
And the curse of the man still
B7
falls upon the
E
land
Verse 1:
E
It was 1985 and
A
much to the nation’s
E
surprise
The Hinshin Tigers, they were kickin serious
B7
ass
And they
E
won their only victory in the
A
Japan
Ser
E
ies
Largely thanks to the
B7
efforts of Randy
E
Bass
Verse 2:
E
They were 22 Japanese Men and
A
Randy was earning his
E
Yen
The odd man out, but, brother, that boy could
B7
play
He
E
ran the bases all night long. Our
A
Randy could do no
E
wrong
But if you ask him about his time in Japan
B7
This is what he’ll
E
say
Chorus
Bridge:
There was a
C#m
fella at the KFC
C#m
B
that
A
looked like Randy B
A
G#m
But
F#7
he ran right out the door
Once he
B7
understood what they wanted him for
They
C#m
walked into the night
C#m
B
And
A
oh what a beautiful sight
A
G#m
The
F#7
statue of the Colonel caught their eye
And they
B7
got out the crowbars and started to pry
It looks like
B7
Randy if you squint your eyes
Chorus
Toilet In My Heart
Chorus:
Your
C
lovin’ is the plunger to the toilet in my heart
And that sucker’s been clogged since the
G7
day we fell
C
apart
I been
C
pushin’ and a-pullin’, tryna get them juices flowin’
Your lovin’ is the plunger to the
G7
toilet in my
C
heart
Bridge:
F
Get out my love snake, cram it down the drain
C
Wiggle it around until I go insane
This
D7
clog of loneliness won’t break free
I’m
G7
cryin’ for you baby and I’m down on my knees
CHORUS
SOLO BRIDGE
SOLO CHORUS
BRIDGE
CHORUS
Hard stop